lonely night...=.=

tonigh was a lonely night...
i feel very lonely...
msn can't work...
nothing to do...
wat shud i do at tis lonely moment...
i alone sit in front my laptop...
watch drama...
feel sad and lonely...
miss somebody...
miss you...
today is holiday...
but i didn't meet you...
so miss you...
now i feel my body very heat like fever...
but you can't beside me...
i need you...
your caress just can listen in phone...
but you didn't action...
i really miss you...
did you miss me?
valentine is coming soon...
but we don't have a real valentine before...
every year i also wait your surprise but nothing...
but valentine for me is nothing...
i more care our annivesarry...
26 march...
tis year is 3nd year for me and you...
i so appreciate our relation...
i very happy we have so long together...
and known each other...
but more long i more scare...
don't why...i have this kind of idea...
i really scare our future are blur or messy...
coz i hope i need a bright future...
i scare me and you have a different future...
we can't match...
actually...
in our future we have many things undiffrent and unmatch...
like our occupation...
our height...
our life...
our future...
our view also different...
many many things else...
all the things actually are slow show already...
coz my course will final on next year april...
actually i hope i can oversea...
but i scare i will lost you...
and if i back from oversea i very very sure i will change...
that will make us many arguement...
so i really really scare...
this problem was make me headache when i choose this subject...
until now i more scare already...
coz they are slow show out...
i work as designer i really need freedom...
i know you can give me...
but i scare once day we argue...
and make our relation troublesm...
i have many things to choose...
i know if i follow you also have a nice future...
but that is not what i need...
you won't think this kind of things i know...
coz now i can see it...
u treat your ex-girl friend so good...
i know you are a good guy...
althought she dumn you...
you still treat her so good...
sometime i very jealous...
isn't it that girl so good let you can't forget it...
i'm i very terrible...i'm i good enough...
i will do compare...
did your family accept me?
thats also a problem...
coz i very weird in conversation with your family...
i know it...
sometime i very scare to face them...
and i will try to don't go your house...
some more your ex-girl friend mum so like you...
and treat you so good...
i know you also miss them...
i can't imagine when they are back...
i scare...
i feel sad is...last few years...your birthday...
i as your girl friend i didn't present you anythings...
i feel i'm bad...
that time i really have money problem coz i'm student...
but this year i will try my best...
very sorry dear...
you treat me so good...
every year you also will with me and present me...
i very sorry i can't make it last few year...
i'm stupid...make you dissappionted...
i'm trying my best to do a best girl friend...
i hope u can accept me...
i know u very very love me...
but i keep on make you angry everytime...
sorry...
you are a good guy...
coz sometime...when i said sorry you will take all the false as you are wrong...
actually the person who wrong is me...
some more you will said sorry with me 1st...
i love you is because...
no people will treat me so so so so(x100000000) good...especially you...
thats why nobody can exchange your place from my heart...
you are just the only one person who know what i'm thinking and what i need...
althought i no need said anything...
i really need you...
but what should i choose?
i choose both...
i'm tired...dear...
i hope i will have good my discission before i graduate...
i both also want...
but sure something i will lost...
coz not all i can get as so wonderful...
i know it...
i miss you dear...